- This is a first of a series of posts about my greatest struggles and how i am where i am today.
My life has been a mixture of all those symbols…lol…I’m an engineer. I have always been. From the early stages of primary school, I was an engineer. I just didn’t know it yet. I thought of being a lawyer, a model, an actress…you name it. I know we all had these dreams at a point. But i was always an engineer. The day i lost
‘all’ chances of actually becoming a chemical engineer from Florida(Yes, that happened…but that’s a story for another day), deep down i knew i was still an engineer. Yes, the thought crossed my mind that maybe this isn’t the path i’m destined for, let’s try something less challenging. Ohh believe me, i tried it. I went into world languages because of my burning desire for the french language. But, that too didn’t work because it all came too easy for me. That’s when i knew i have always been an engineer.
It is taking me longer than the regular 4 years, but i know i am still an engineer. Yes, my friend’s have graduated; some with their masters, others with their bachelors. That does not move me any more, because just like our fingerprints differ, so do our lives, and the paths we take.
Transferring to Massachusetts, I thought it was to start over in terms of my education. But really, I came to find my relationship with God. Yes, i fell. I cried. But i am making it. So, if you are in any situation, do not worry, it is all going to be okay.
You see, the funny thing is, this place(Florida) that i had gotten so attached to, this place that i felt i had made friends for life, this place was soaking up my identity. But i was far gone, and way too distant from God to realize that. I was a part of everyone else, I had no identity. Sadly “my person” at the time was kinda like my identity. I was way too attached. So when it all came crashing down, that heartbreak hit me very hard.It was the most painful thing i had ever experienced. Yes, way worse than that belt hitting your behind, or that wooden cane Mr. Asante(JSS Strictest Math Teacher Ever) stores in his container. It was so hard that it pushed me to my limit. I did things i never thought i could ever do. I was more lost this time. Imagine your make believe “identity” being taken away from you and not having any bearing in life. Through it all, i still knew i was an engineer.
God has kept me. Apart from him I couldn’t have survived. All the pain and heartache,… life. There’s nothing like knowing you can go to Him to seek refuge. Yes, it took me a while but i found Him, and i’m not letting go.
- I only share this because i know this could encourage someone out there who is lost and can’t find their bearing. They have no road maps. This is not to seek your pity or to give you all the tea in my life. God bless you for reading.